Domestic abuse is a pattern of violent behavior used to control a partner—spouse, boyfriend, girlfriend—and it can happen to anyone at any age and at any point in the relationship.

For many men and women who experience abuse at the hands of a partner, leaving isn’t easy. Domestic abuse is a form of control and it can be extremely difficult for a victim to break free. There are many reasons why a victim might stay in an abusive relationship, from a fear of heightened violence to a belief that they, the victim, are to blame. 

Often support and encouragement from a friend may help the victim find the strength to seek help. Do you think you might have a loved one, friend or coworker who might be suffering abuse at the hands of a partner? The Domestic Violence Committee at NorthShore shares the signs of abuse you shouldn’t ignore: 

• Withdrawing from friends and family or having few close friends.
• Having to seek permission for meetings with friends or events with other people.
• Limited access to money or resources.
• Symptoms of depression or even suicidal thoughts.
• Low self-esteem or appearing extremely apologetic. 
• Bruises and injuries that look like they were not the result of an accident, particularly bruises or discolorations around the neck or wrists. Attempts to hide bruises with makeup or clothing.  

There is help available for victims of domestic violence. If you believe someone you know might be suffering in silence, help them find the information they need. Click on the sites listed to be directed to their pages: 

• Apna Ghar is a Chicago-area agency for immigrants from East India. 
• A Safe Place is a Lake County-area agency that offers counseling/shelter. 
• Evanston YWCA offers counseling/shelter.
• Between Friends is a Chicago-area agency.  
• Lifespan is a Chicago and Des Plaines-area agency.
• Shalva is a Chicago-area agency for Jewish families. 
• IL Coalition Against Domestic Violence offers resources statewide.